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Dinger gibts, die gibts gar nicht....


Neulich, kurz vor Neufundland:

The chief of United States naval operations has released the following transcript of a radio conversation between a US Navy ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland.
US ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Canadian reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
US ship: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert your course!
US ship: This is the Battleship USS Missouri; we are a large warship of the US Navy. Divert your course now!!
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Two strangers meet in London. They start on a conversation but have to use their dictionaries quite often.
"Hello Sir, how goes it you?"
"Oh, thank you, for your afterquestion"
"Are you allready long here?"
"No, first a pair days. I´m not out London."
"Thunderweather, that overrushes me. You see not so out."
"That can yes beforecome. But now what other. My hairs stood to mountain as I the traffic saw. So much cars give it here."
"You are heavy on the woodway, if you believe, that in London horsedroveworks go."
Will we now beer drink go? My throat is outdried. But look, there is a guesthouse, let us man there go."
"That is a good think! Equal goes it loose. I will only my shoeband close."
"Here we are. Make me please the door open.
"But there is here a beforehangingcastle, the economy is to.."
How sorry! Then I will go back to the hotel. It is already retard. On againsee!"
"Oh yes, I will too go. I must get the drought to backsidemonkeycastle. Auf Wiedersehen!"
"Nanu, Sie sind Deutscher?"
"Ja, Sie auch? Das wundert mich aber. Ihr Englisch ist so hervorragend, daß ich es gar nicht bemerkt hätte."
And then they made them me-nothing you-nothing out of the dust!

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